You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
