god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
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