Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
