Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
