There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
