Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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