he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
