Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
