Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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