Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
