Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Let's get the cat blown out
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
