What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
