I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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