Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
