after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
