I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
