So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
