At least make sure they are 18
Why
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
