Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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