In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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