My entire life is one complicated drinking game
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize
