Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
