You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Randomize
