So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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