Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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