More tranny stories later!
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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