we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
