As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
