I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
