i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
