Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
