it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
