yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I got inside last night via doggy door
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
