We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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