I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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