he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Dignity is for republicans.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
