ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
