took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize