After last night, I could never be a politician.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
