This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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