Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Randomize
