At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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