The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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