U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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