Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
