I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
