dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
