Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
