filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
