i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
