It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
