Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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